After the abysmal failure of the iDumDird 2, DumbDird, in what could only be described as pure stubbornness, decided to make another version—iDumDird 3. DumbDird was confident that this one would revolutionize technology, despite the fact that his previous tablets were basically digital disasters.
Excited to reveal his new creation, DumbDird delivered the iDumDird 3 to Tealy, Dird, and Beric. "This one has a setup screen!" DumbDird exclaimed proudly, as if this was a groundbreaking innovation.
Tealy, Dird, and Beric reluctantly powered on their iDumDird 3s. And sure enough, the screen lit up with the long-awaited setup screen. But the excitement ended there.
The setup screen only had one option: choose a theme. "Okay, this might be good," Tealy muttered. But when he clicked on the theme selection, he realized… there was only one theme to choose from.
And it was "DumbDird Green."
The entire interface was an eye-watering neon green with a massive picture of DumbDird giving a thumbs up plastered on every app. No customization, no other options. Just DumbDird, all day, every day.
"This is the worst thing I've ever seen," Dird groaned.
Tealy sighed but tried to continue using the tablet. He opened the app menu and, once again, the infamous Poop app was there, but this time, it didn’t even work. Clicking on it just made the tablet vibrate for five minutes before displaying a random error message: "DURRRRR: Poop currency not found. Please try again in 10 years."
Tealy, trying to keep it together, clicked on DumbDird Road 4, hoping it might have something new. But when he loaded the game, it wasn’t even a game anymore. It was just a slideshow of DumbDird’s worst selfies, each one accompanied by a fact about socks. And just like before, every fact was wrong.
"Why do I even try anymore," Tealy groaned.
To make things worse, the iDumDird 3 had the slowest processing speed known to humanity. Every time Tealy tried to open an app, it took 10 minutes to load, and when it did, half the screen was filled with unclickable ads for DumbDird Merchandise.
Beric and Dird experienced similar pain. Beric's iDumDird 3 crashed every time he swiped the screen, and Dird’s tablet just kept randomly shutting off anytime he tried to adjust the volume.
Tealy, now completely fed up, decided to throw the iDumDird 3 out the window. But before he could, the tablet froze, then displayed a huge pop-up:
“CONGRATULATIONS! YOU’VE WON 1 MILLION POOP! Claim your prize by waiting 12 hours for this screen to disappear.”
Tealy screamed, and without hesitation, threw the tablet into a lake.
DumbDird, once again baffled by the failure, claimed everyone was just "jealous" of his genius and decided to make iDumDird 4.
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