Determined not to give up, DumbDird went all in on the next version: the iDumDird 4. He was convinced this one was going to be the tablet that would "change the world." It was, in his words, "The Ultimate Experience of DumbDird Genius."
Tealy, Dird, and Beric, for reasons even they couldn't explain, decided to give the iDumDird 4 a try.
From the moment they opened the box, it was clear that things had somehow gotten worse. The tablet was twice as heavy as the last model, yet had the same pathetic battery life. DumbDird proudly announced, "It now lasts 30 whole minutes without a charger!" As if that was an achievement.
The moment Tealy booted it up, the setup screen appeared again. But this time, there wasn’t even a fake choice—there was only the DumbDird Green theme, and it came with a new feature: annoying voice prompts.
Every time Tealy pressed a button, DumbDird’s voice would say, "DURRRRRR, YOU DID IT!"
It was so loud and so obnoxious that Tealy thought the tablet was broken. But no, it was actually designed that way. And there was no way to turn it off.
The Poop app had been replaced with something even more ridiculous: DumbDird’s Mystery Box. Clicking on it took Tealy to a loading screen that said, "Please wait... calculating your surprise!" After 20 minutes of waiting, the app finally revealed his “prize”: a pixelated picture of DumbDird eating cereal. That’s it. No explanation, no point—just a pixelated picture.
"I hate everything," Tealy muttered.
But the worst part was the game, DumbDird Road 5. Tealy, hoping against all hope, opened the game and was met with the most unplayable experience ever created. This time, instead of tapping a sprite of DumbDird, you had to shake the entire tablet to make DumbDird walk across a poorly drawn road. And for some reason, the more you shook it, the louder DumbDird would scream, "DURRRRR, WHY YOU SHAKIN' ME?!"
Tealy, Dird, and Beric all tried the game. It was physically exhausting. After 10 minutes of shaking, they all gave up. Dird threw his iDumDird 4 out the window. Beric tried to return his, but the store refused, saying, "We don’t accept broken dreams."
Meanwhile, Tealy’s iDumDird 4 overheated and melted the table it was on.
DumbDird, blissfully unaware of his failure, started working on the next version: iDumDird 5. But by that point, Tealy and his friends had learned their lesson.
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