After the iStealDumDird debacle, DumbDird decided it was time to branch out into gaming. Enter the iDuhFold, a handheld gaming console so strange that even its existence baffled everyone. DumbDird marketed it as "the next evolution of gaming consoles," but most people would have described it as "a poorly assembled knockoff with a fart button."
The Console
The iDuhFold was designed to vaguely resemble a classic DS, but DumbDird made sure to "differentiate" it enough to avoid legal trouble. Unfortunately, his “unique” design choices were... questionable at best:
The Buttons:
- The face buttons were labeled A, B, Z, S, and DURR.
- The DURR button sat obnoxiously in the center and produced a loud, wet fart sound every time you pressed it. It didn’t serve any in-game function but was highly distracting.
- The Start button was misspelled as "STERT" in every manual, menu, and label.
The D-Pad:
- The D-Pad was clunky and would often stick, making precise movement nearly impossible.
The Analog Stick:
- Surprisingly, the analog stick wasn’t awful. It was one of the only decent features on the console, though DumbDird claimed credit for it, despite buying it in bulk from an unnamed supplier.
The Screen:
- A 4:3 resolution display with terrible brightness and colors. If you tilted it too far, everything looked green.
The Games
Though the console itself was bad, the games were... surprisingly tolerable, albeit bizarre:
DumbDird Road Collection:
- A port of all the DumbDird Road games, which meant players could now experience every incorrect fact, random crash, and chaotic nonsense from DumbDird Road 1–5 in one place.
- Fans of the series (yes, they existed) considered this the highlight of the console.
Tealy’s Horrible Day:
- A text-based adventure game where no matter what choices you made, the outcomes were terrible. For example:
- "You wake up. What do you do?"
- Choice 1: Get out of bed.
- Result: You stub your toe on a DumbDird figurine. Horrible Day counter: +1.
- Choice 2: Stay in bed.
- Result: DumbDird barges in and yells 'DURRR' at you for 2 hours. Horrible Day counter: +2.
- "You wake up. What do you do?"
- It was frustratingly pointless yet oddly addictive.
- A text-based adventure game where no matter what choices you made, the outcomes were terrible. For example:
Stare At DumbDird:
- Literally just a game where you stared at a pixelated picture of DumbDird's face.
- There were no objectives, no timers, and no win condition. Players speculated there might be a secret Easter egg, but nope—it was just DumbDird staring back at you.
The Reception
The iDuhFold was met with a mixture of confusion and mild amusement:
Tealy: “It’s... not completely awful, I guess? Except for the fart button. Why is there a fart button, DumbDird?”
- DumbDird: “Because it’s funny! DURRR!”
Beric: “The games are weirdly okay, but the console itself feels like it’s made of cardboard.”
Dird: “I can’t believe I’m saying this, but I kinda like Tealy’s Horrible Day. It feels so... relatable.”
While the iDuhFold was far from a success, it wasn’t a complete disaster like its predecessors. In fact, some players found it charming in a "so bad, it’s good" kind of way.
DumbDird’s Plans for the Future
Emboldened by the iDuhFold’s mild reception, DumbDird announced plans for his next gaming innovation:
“THE iDUMSTATION! IT’LL BE BIGGER, LOUDER, AND HAVE THREE DURR BUTTONS!”
Tealy could only groan in response, already imagining the chaos that was to come.
Comments
Post a Comment